How to Tell the Difference Between Yaz, the 80s Band, and Yaz, the Popular Brand of Birth Control

  • I do not have a box of years-expired Yaz the 80s band sitting in a drawer on my bureau.
  • Yaz the birth control is never featured in a cool montage on The Americans, which happens at least once to Yaz the 80s band in season 3, and I think maybe more. Don’t know — gotta finish it.

Not birth control

  • If you are driving late at night in a city, it is a good idea to indulge in some Yaz the 80s band to make the driving go smoother, but it is probably not a good idea to indulge in some Yaz the birth control, which should be taken once a day, if prescribed by your doctor.
  • If someone says, “I tried Yaz and it made me super depressed,” they are probably referring to side effects from the pill. (BIRTH CONTROL CAN CAUSE DEPRESSION. STAY WOKE.) However they could also be going through a breakup and listening to a lot of emotional music with synthesizer thinking wrongly that it will help things. Use your discretion.

No synthesizer

  • Yaz the birth control is in no way related to Depeche Mode.
  • In May of this year, more than 10,000 people filed a lawsuit against Yaz the birth control claiming blood clot problems. This has never happened to Yaz the 80s band.
  • Yaz the birth control is not marketed in the U.K., but Yaz the 80s band is from Essex, and goes in the U.K. under the name Yazoo.

Not birth control, unless looking at this picture causes you to abstain from sex, which would make it 100% effective

  • When I asked my gynecologist whether Yaz would cause the same severe depression I experienced with NuvaRing, he said, “We can’t be sure.” My gynecologist and I have never discussed Yaz the 80s band.
  • Yaz the 80s band is featured on the soundtrack of the 2011 Topher Grace comedy Take Me Home Tonight. To the best of my understanding, Topher Grace has no connection to the drug Yaz.
  • One of them is a band.
  • One of them is a pill.

ALSO: Yazz with two z’s is a British pop star from the 80s whose song “The Only Way is Up” Benedict Cumberbatch once said he wants played at his funeral. In addition, there is a baseball hall-of-famer named Carl Yastrzemski who also went by Yaz. He is neither birth control nor a pill, and I can’t help you there.


About A.C.

Amateur time-traveler
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