I made a political comment recently and my mother said, “That’s very good. You should do a blog post on that.” She has never read this blog because she does not want to. I have not made any overt political stances on this blog, because I do not feel it is the correct space. I don’t know–it’s probably innately political just due to the kind of person I am. However, I am going to break that pretend ban to tell you the really astute observation I made to my mom.
To understand my comment, you will have to first be aware of Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen’s straight-to-VHS film Our First Video. It is a series of music videos made by the Olsen twins before their more popular straight-to-VHS films The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley, and while I never owned it until I was in my twenties*, I owned the soundtrack on cassette.
There were a lot of great songs on this cassette. “Brother for Sale“, “I Am the Cute One“, hit after hit. However, there was one more overtly political song in the oeuvre. That song was “No One Tells the President What to Do”:
Okay, you don’t want to watch the video. The song starts with a terrible Bill Clinton impersonator playing “Hail to the Chief” on saxophone. You still don’t want to watch it? Please. It’s amazing, I promise.
Okay, fine, I will tell you about it. Basically the twins are tired of being told what to do all the time by the grown-ups. One day, when they are president, they will make their own rules.
No one tells the President not to slouch.
No one says, “Don’t put you feet on Mr. Lincoln’s couch.”
No one tells him “Company’s here. Use your fork and spoon”
Unless they want to be the next Ambassador to the moon.
Now it’s obvious that this song betrays the twins’ basic misunderstanding of how government works. Everyone tells the president what to do. All the time. Congress. The press. The American people. Can the president slouch? Absolutely not. If the president didn’t use a fork and spoon when he had Angela Merkel over for dinner, do you think he would get away with that?
But here is the really smart thing I said to my mom the other day:
“I feel like Donald Trump just listened to ‘No One Tells the President What to Do’ and was like, ‘That’s a good idea–I’ll do that!'”
Because he keeps promising things that I don’t think he can really deliver on, and I keep being so confused by everything he thinks he’s going to do. It’s like, there are checks and balances, dude. I feel like he just likes the idea of being president even though he has no idea what it means.
So I will refrain from saying anything too overtly political in the future, since I know you’re all obviously voting for Trump and this was really difficult for you to read.
Here is a gif of Prince George refusing to high five Justin Trudeau, while we are on the subject:
*I dislike that you are judging me for purchasing this film while I was in my twenties. Haven’t you heard of Pokemon Go? Nostalgia is huge for millennials.