Ed Sheeran won Song of the Year for “Thinking Out Loud” at the Grammys last night and it was one of many confusing moments for me. I do actually feel like he is a talented songwriter. For instance, he cowrote “Love Yourself” with Bieber and I love it. How mean is it to be like “My mama don’t like you, and she likes everyone”? What little bitches.
I have spent a good deal of time listening to X, his latest album, which I am embarrassed about mostly. I don’t think is as good as other less commercially successful singer-songwriter albums of the past year, Courtney Bartnett for example, but I do feel like it has some solid tracks on it. At the same time, “Thinking Out Loud” is the worst song on that album. It falls prey to all of Sheeran’s weak spots: It is cliched and sappy and inane. I like literally all the songs on X better than that song, including the one that he starts out rapping, “I’m not a rapper / I’m a singer with a flow”. No one was accusing you of that Ed!
A lot of the songs are about dissing Ellie Goulding and you have not been reading this blog if you think her hookup with Niall Horan of One Direction that led to the song “Don’t” is not of great interest to me. But the two songs I actually like the best by a large margin are “Nina” and “Photograph”. They speak of love lost in a tender, delicate way. They are intimate and deeply felt. “You can keep me in the pocket of your ripped jeans” in “Photograph” is a damn good lyric, and “Nina” evokes the tiny details of a relationship over haunting piano.
These songs are the ones about his relationship with singer-songwriter Nina Nesbitt. I tried listening to her own songs and they’re not anything too special, but they’re kind of enjoyable, peppy ditties about being young and insecure. I also learned through the internet that she once dated Harry Styles (read: pretended to date Harry Styles because he is in love with Louis) and that she once said in an interview that her relationship with Ed Sheeran “was a long time ago now and we’ve both moved on”. Oh, right, and love is dead.
Here are things I know about her relationship with Ed Sheeran, from the song “Nina”:
- They met when they were teens.
- They used to listen to Stevie Wonder and Bon Iver together.
- They also used to smoke pot and watch DVDs together.
- She was insecure about what she looked like without makeup and about her weight and he told her she was FINE.
- She used to wear his hoodie during the winter months.
- They had a local pub where they would eat together.
- They were pulled apart by his rising music career and touring schedule.
- During the time they were long-distance, they watched a lot of Blue Planet.
This sounds like a wonderful relationship to me, and I believe it would behoove us all if Ed Sheeran and Nina Nesbitt made another pass at love. I said in the headline I would offer considerable financial retribution for him to do so, but the fact is I’m working part-time. I can offer him $20, take it or leave it, for one lunch in which they stare into each other’s eyes for a full three minutes and tell each other one thing they’ve never told anyone. Surely this is doable. I have a blog that at least ten people read, and it must be good for something. Let’s make it happen, team.