Every One Direction Music Video, Ranked by How Many Times I Googled to Prove They Were All of a Legitimate Age to Date*

What Makes You Beautiful

Ugh. This video is garbage. Obviously whoever made it did not realize these guys were going to blow up. And they’re all like ten in this and I’m not a pedophile. Stop.

Gotta Be You

I did not even realize this song existed until I was looking up all of their videos. This is like a really awkward fall J Crew catalog that begins with Liam crying in a dorm room. No thanks.

Drag Me Down

Spacesuits are cool but I MISS ZAYN.

Little Things

This is when I start to have to google to make sure I’m not being a creep. Black and white photos of the boys singing about how much I hate my stomach and thighs. Excellent. It is a testament to how much I want to date all of them in the other videos that this video ranks so low.

Live While We’re Young

They’re so fun! They’re just a bunch of normal lads and they like to hang out! Spinning around in giant bubble things!

One Thing

London is fun! The boys are fun! Double decker buses! Yes, this is good. Plus, Louis is wearing suspenders. You’re crazy, Louis!

Steal My Girl

This one should not rank so high, but it features Louis singing next to a monkey and thus all other arguments are invalid.

One Way Or Another (Teenage Kicks)

The boys love Africa! I love Africa! They love helping children! I love helping children! Let’s date.

Kiss You

ZOMG this one is just them pretending to be in old movies that I like. Way to send up Beach Blanket Bingo boys. Now let’s watch Beach Blanket Bingo together.

Midnight Memories

Late night kebab runs! Dancing with old ladies! You are perfect, lads. Never change.

You & I

This is when it starts to get dangerous. The beginning of this video is just Niall in a gray sweater singing directly to you. Then he morphs into Liam and I lose my goddam mind. This is my beautiful dark twisted fantasy.

Story of My Life


Best Song Ever

Lord, help me. The boys pretend to be employees of the record company pitching their documentary to them, including Zayn as the sexy assistant. This is probably the most fun music video of all time. I can’t handle it. Their dancing at the end . . . it’s too much.

Night Changes

I DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE WATCHED THIS ONE. Some genius (director Ben Winston, most likely, who did most of these) decided to make a POV video where you’re on a dream date with all five lads. WHAT A DELIGHT. Do you want to go to a carnival with Liam or stay in and have Niall play his guitar? YOU DON’T HAVE TO CHOOSE. THIS MUSIC VIDEO IS EVERYTHING.

  • Like most things, I am half-joking half-serious. They are all gross. I love all of them.

About A.C.

Amateur time-traveler
This entry was posted in pop culture and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Every One Direction Music Video, Ranked by How Many Times I Googled to Prove They Were All of a Legitimate Age to Date*

  1. Pingback: I Am Not Finished Talking About One Direction | Mansfield Snark

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